I’ve been feeling a -little- bit anxious/nervous for this lately. Not too much. Just a little.
Been trying to keep my excitement and hopes contained in case of disappointing results, but it’s so difficult!! There are so many things that would sort themselves out if this worked out for me. I remember the month I was preparing/applying I couldn’t stop dreaming about it and feeling giddy about it at random points during the day. I’d imagine all the things I would do — all the things I COULD do… and I’d just feel… bliss.
It’s been (I think) three weeks since the interview now. A scholar classmate from the 7th Generation told me she received news one month after her interview… so I’m expecting next week to bring some news. Though I’d wished I’d have known by now, since next week is when I start summer school. I would just have liked to have my schedule clean and simple.
I do have a backup plan in case this doesn’t though. It’s basically… attend fourth year like nothing happened. Which is boring.
But if this does works out…
I wouldn’t have to worry about where to stay for a whole year starting August, which would just be perfect.
I would finally, finally, finally be MOVING in my life. I have never applied to anything that I really wanted because my desires did not overcome my fears, and this is the first real competition that I’d have applied to and gotten in to!
I’d feel better about my academic career… which I’ve messed up and currently am trying to revive…, gain more confidence in myself, and gain great experience.
I would gain one more year of the I’m-still-in-school-so-I-don’t-have-to-grow-up disease.
ENJOY ONE YEAR OF LIFE, LIVING BY MYSELF. IN KOREA. EXPERIENCE.
Agh, please please please please pleaseeeeeee! I’ve used all my 11:11 since I got my third year marks on this already!! (Okay, it was like ..twice, but still!) CMON~