If there was one thing that I learned this past year, it was that not getting in to TaLK Korea was a good thing for me. I’ve gone with the titled saying for years, but not until recently have I started to pick it up again.
You see, I’m no teacher material. I wasn’t a year ago, and I am not now. In fact, I don’t find myself fitting in the faculty side of school. Sure, I had thought to try it out in case I found a calling there, but no. Going for the financial and travel benefits, and not caring as much for the education of the kids would have been wrong. That is not to say, however, that I did not care an ounce for the kids. I’ve always been on the borderline about it to be quite honest. I like kids! …just… sometimes. I am alright with kids! — but it’s tiring. And it shouldn’t be. It shouldn’t be tiring to go to work. And I, for sure, would have been tired. I would have been overstressed from the constant workplace/people exposure, and I would have been exhausted from the material prep. It was the benefits of paid travel that was my motivator more so than the job. Which is why, I knew. Even then, I knew. Teaching wasn’t my passion. It had been at one point in my life. It used to be a fantasy back during my childhood. But it wasn’t anymore.
Which is why I am glad how things worked out. Looking back on it now, I was bitter at first when I didn’t get in. For a few hours, or a few days, I was. I was disappointed. I was discouraged.
However, now, I am glad I didn’t go. The twenty year young me would not have experienced it well. Surely I would have experienced something… but it would not have been right.
There are twenty year olds who are mature, and responsible, and ready. I was not. And it was okay to not be. I am one year older now. I can’t say I’ve matured that much since then, but I do know that I’ve moved on from that. And I do know that I mature slow. I know that, and I think that’s okay.
There is an agenda for me, but I make the moves. Sometimes they’ll be wrong, but then life will move on, and it will just work out in the end. The Universe will lead me somewhere again. Maybe it will be a round about way, but I will go somewhere… I will. And I will reach somewhere.
Because everything happens for a reason.